BEARS • STRAWS • MORMON MISSIONS • DISCUSSIONS
This week we are going to:
(1) Dive into what makes us stressed out, we need to get to the root - always the root!
(2) Understand the importance of why we need to minimize it.
(3) Vote for Plastic or Paper Straws.
Let’s just start with the premise that modern humans have gone slightly off the rails.
Think about what we do, or did pre-pandemic, on a daily basis.
Wake up. Coffee. Traffic. Work. Coffee. Traffic. Work Out. Drinks. TV/Screen Time. Bad Sleep. Repeat.
THE SYMPATHETIC AND PARASYMPATHETIC NERVOUS SYSTEMS
Most things we do feed our sympathetic nervous system. Modern humans literally live in a constant state of stress.
The sympathetic system tells our body “fight or flight”. And we need this system, it keeps us alive.
🐻 There is a bear, I need to run.
The parasympathetic system restores the body to a calm state.
🏕 Lets chill out and watch the stars.
BUT IT’S NOT ALWAYS SO OBVIOUS
Those two systems are called The Autonomic Nervous System. “Autonomic” because they are happening in the background, autonomously. And it’s not just about stress, you won’t believe all the other systems in the body they control.
Digestion, Metabolism, Urination and Defecation, Blood pressure, Sexual response, Body temperature, Heartbeat, Breathing rate, Fluid balance. Wow!
Digestion.....remember 80-ish% of our immune system is in that digestive system.
And remember... these newsletters are about our keeping our immune system as strong as possible for the rest of our lives, not just because of Covid.
When we are in parasympathetic, our sphincter muscles relax which increases our ability to digest. How good do you feel after a good poop? So good right! I mean there is even a smiling poop emoji.💩
So let's get to the root of some potential stress in our lives.
I bet if you stop and think you can identify what stresses you out.
But I have something different to consider.
People are losing friends and families in our current political climate.
Left-Right. Gay-Straight. Christian-Muslim. Poor-Rich. Black-White. Organic Food-GMO Food. Trump-Biden. CNN-Fox. Police-No Police. Vaccines-Anti Vax. Dark Roast Coffee-Light Roast Coffee (that’s a real thing) Covid Real-Covid Conspiracy.
We’ve drawn lines throughout history. Killed millions of people over race, religion, land.
Is being divided part of who we are as humans? I don't mean to minimize serious issues, some are and some are ridiculous. My point is if we continue to draw these lines, we will continue to see ourselves as different. And although we have different likes, agendas, skin colors, taste in coffee, we are all one human race. And I bet if we started talking more, we'd learn more, and fight less.
Plastic Straws - Paper Straws.
Saw this today ⬇😱
We are fighting about straws now? Come on! 🥤🙈
I am not trying to get in a fight by posting about Trump, quite the opposite.
This is what I want to talk about.
How do I not fight over divisive topics you ask? I simply choose not to. Yes, it is a choice. Once you realize how powerful you are, you won't be so easily rattled by that crazy family member arguing the opposite point of view to their crazy family member (get it). You might be the crazy one. 🤣
How I do it:
1) I TAKE THE PRESSURE OFF MYSELF
- Admit: I do not know. I might not know. I could be wrong.
- Facebook takes down billions of fake accounts. Billions. For all kinds of reasons.
- "In July 2020 Facebook took down a network of over 500 accounts, groups, pages, and Instagram accounts from around the world that had engaged in coordinated inauthentic behavior using fake accounts and fake identities to spread and amplify their message”
- Guys, we share this stuff around and it's fake! These posts are written to ignite us and divide us. We fight. We lose friends. Facebook is about seeing videos of my friends kids on skateboards and bikes, not news.
(2) DEVELOP CONFIDENCE OVER EGO
- Confidence is faith in yourself and your abilities.
- Ego operates out of self-interest and demands to be seen as “right” so it resists feedback and criticism.
- Confidence requires hard work, a sincere passion for what we do, and a sense of accomplishment.
- Ego is self-righteous, selfish, and judgmental of others.
(3) DEVELOP EMPATHY
- The ability to understand and share the feelings of another. Here is a great article on ways to work on developing more empathy.
AND NOW LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT SISTER MILBURN AND SISTER FILBURN
This is a example of a time I was totally up in arms about an issue very personal to me.
Two young women from the Mormon Church, who were on their mission, knocked on my door. I could have slammed it in their face, and yelled at them. Instead we chatted for 2 hours. I love reading books on different religions and had read a few on Mormonism. I didn’t know women went on missions. I wanted to talk to them about how they were treated, and how they felt about being in a male dominated church. They said they were treated great and loved the church. They were smiling and really seemed genuine, and I was glad.
I had to google this image. I'd give anything to have a photo of my conversation with Sister Filburn and Sister Milburn. But this gives you a really great visual on what our conversation was like.
Except I don't have a purse that big.
In 1890 polygamy was outlawed in Utah and the Church, but it’s still practiced today in some sects of the Church. With this practice, historically girls were taken out of school at an early age and married off.
My issue was, I wasn’t happy that their church funded Prop 8, along with the Catholic Church. At the time I had been married to Bren (a woman) for just a few months and am passionate about equality. My marriage in their eyes is a sin and they were willing
I challenged them with the question; “are you sure it was Jesus or was it possibly the elders in the church who had been promoting this message since you were so young; and they formed your opinion”? They were willing to consider it and promised to pray some more. It was a GREAT chat.
I personally think Jesus would be very happy for me and Bren, it’s just how I see him rollin’.
They assured me that they loved me, and that as long as I didn’t act on my feelings I would not be a sinner.
THAT message....... I told them, especially to someone younger, can cause a great deal of inner turmoil, stress and even suicide. I didn’t mean to make them cry, but when I suggested that by supporting their church they were in fact indirectly responsible for teens killing themselves, they took it pretty hard. They were sweet and loving and burst into tears.
They offered to do our yard work for 2 months for free. Part of their mission is to be of service. I said I couldn’t allow that, or support their institution in any way, or I wasn’t being true to myself. They left on good terms. I think of them often. It wasn’t a fight. It was a discussion, and it was awesome.
There is a difference between a healthy debate and a fight.
I vote for more discussion.
And I vote for paper straws. They do work, well for at least 3/4 of the drink.🥤😜
OTHER TIPS TO MINIMIZE STRESS
- Positive thinking, grateful thoughts. If you do not know what a “go to thought” is check out week one.
- Getting enough quality sleep
- Minimize alcohol. When you do drink, do it right!
- Quality food
- Moving your body (more on this in a follow up newsletter)
- Check out these 8 calming poses you can do anytime, anywhere when you feel stressed.🧘
I cannot recommend this book enough for anyone suffering from addiction, depression and/or anxiety.
The Mood Cure by Julia Ross.
A holistic approach to working out/diet by the genius Paul Chek.
One of my favorite books of all time on the history of the Mormon Church.
The 19th Wife by David Ebershoff